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Running Down

from White Collar Punk by Timon Marmex

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about

This song was the first song to be written after the completion of the BabyDoll EP and the posting of the original version of this web site, but I didn't record it until nearly a year later. In that time, I spent quite a bit of money and time rebuilding my MIDI setup, and I think that effort shows in the far more elaborate sequencing in this song over the stuff on Babydoll. I had intended to be fully digital by this time, but software incompatibilities forced me to stick with the Atari ST.
This song is the sequel to Hello Sailor, it deals with the health problems (physical, mental) of continuously working long hours. It's a fairly direct song... no hidden meanings here. As it's easier to keep working till a problem has been solved than it is to get started again after stopping, I often work long hours, and it prevents me from sleeping properly; I can't get to sleep till I have been home for several hours. Eventually, this takes it's toll on my overall energy level and attention span... I feel like some sort of wind-up toy which is slowly running down...

What really brought it all home to me was when I learned that one of my good friends was suffering from a repetitive strain injury as a result of their constant and relentless work developing a popular videogame. Previously I had thought that RSI was a myth invented by secretaries to get workman's compensation, suddenly I was thinking "This could happen to me!" My friend was eventually forced to resign his position in favor of less demanding work... if it were me, what would I do?

I want to point out that none of these songs is anti-work. The whole point is to outline the love-hate relationship I (we?) have with work. My work is my life, and I wouldn't want it any other way. But devoting so much time to one's chosen career can take it's toll on the other aspects of ones life (what life?) This is done willingly... this is something we do to ourselves more than it is something that is done to us. We believe in what we are doing and thus enslave ourselves... but that's the subject for another song...

lyrics

All energy down the drain –
my limbs grow weak and I don’t feel the same;
I’m running down –
but don’t think I’m the only one.
This attitude I can’t explain –
I’m all concern ‘ cause I can’t save the brain;
I’m running down –
my thought processes have come undone.

I cannot fall all to pieces –
while there’s still work to do.
I cannot make all decisions –
I’ve got to leave some for you.
Can’t lie in a bed of flowers –
till my phone mail’s gone.
Can’t die in a mobile casket –
without my pager on.

I’m running down.

My body’s thrown me a curve -
for all mistreat I get what I deserve;
I’m running down –
there’s no thanks to the vitamin.
All addict, no caffeine buzz –
no coffee/tea can clear my brain from fuzz;
I’m running down –
but I’m not telling anyone.

I’m not gonna ask the doctor –
won’t take no happy pills.
I’m not gonna take vacation –
I won’t head for the hills.
I won’t catch a nasty virus –
if I don’t go outside.
If I sleep at the office,
I’ll have no need to hide.

I’m running down.

I don’t want to self-pity:
It’s way to late to ask for sympathy;
But I’m running down –
who cares if I’m the lonely one?
No use in counting sleep –
I can’t turn off my brain/too tired to sleep;
‘cause I’m running down –
when morning comes I see the sun.

I don’t want to be a slacker:
I’m still under the gun.
I just want to make a living;
but these legs just won’t run.
I’m not gonna heed the warnings,
because it’s just too bleak.
If I can survive the morning,
maybe I can survive the week.

I’m running down.

credits

from White Collar Punk, released June 1, 1999

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Timon Marmex Los Angeles, California

Timon Marmex never fully recovered from the fall of Atari back in the 80's.

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